A mango tree and a lady to scream at goats.............

I want to retire in a ranch, anywhere in this world but in a ranch. I want my wife to haul insults at my goats like my grandmother does, while I sit under the mango tree a couple of steps from the cowshed and tell stories to my grandchildren. Exagerate the facts about the war against the Al-Shaabab, ''the first attack took place a couple of days after we attacked them'' I would begin. The grenades will turn into bombs, the casualties will increase, hell, I will even be there. I will tell stories the way my grandfather told them every Christmas, under the mango tree.

Some 18 years ago I lost my grandpa. My grandfather couldn't stand hospitals, he believed that when you step in one, you won't come out in one piece. He was paranoid around the white mans' things, they were poisoning the black man to take back his land, he did not trust the white man or his ways, or his things and that included their hospitals. When we took him to hospital, he ran. At 82, he walked for 6 days from Murang'a District Hospital approximately 160 kilometers to his house. We looked for him only to find him at home talking to one of my aunts drinking milk after we were almost out of places to look. A couple of months later after having lived a full life he left for heaven.

I want to sit under the mango tree and tell stories of my childhood, my teenage years, the scares of the second coming of Christ, the war in Somalia, the bomb blast in 98', my first job, how i met your grandmother, stories that tell my grandchildren that I lived a full life.

Am not the most religious freak but I believe in God. When we talk I like to ask him why, with all his wisdom, he created so many dumb people, he doesn't answer though, so I speculate. Heaven I want to go, but not the mythical one, but the real one. To be remembered in good light, to have left a mark in peoples' hearts, by telling great stories, stories that tell people that I lived a great life. I want to be in my grandchildrens' thoughts 18 years after my demise.

Now to get there, I need a lady to insult my goats.