Chosing words

The first time she broke his little heart, he wrapped it real nice, placed a ribbon on it and sent it to heaven. He had heard that's where broken hearts go. For healing that is. After a couple of months, a year or so, he got his heart back. He locked it up and threw away the key.

He was bored one Monday afternoon. He wrote a note. She saw the note and talked to him. He didn't know what to say. It was a good piece of writing she said. You should write.He makes mistakes when he's a lil' on the rocks. He bears out his heart, his soul, his entire being. He tells her things. She tells him things. She gives him hope. He don't like hope. It's for the hopeless. But he's hopelessly in love with her. She's not, at least that's what she says.She should have tried to make it work. That's what she said. That makes it better she thinks. He wishes it did. It doesn't.

He writes about her. The first time he saw her. At 18, the most beautiful virgin on the green. No age could furnish this nymph so graceful, wise and fair; with half the lustre of her eyes, half her wit. He had hit the bottle a little early, but still, the adrenaline, excitement and slight anxiety raced. Perfectly curved, walking around, he noticed. She probably didn't. She was the desire that fulfilled his ultimate fantasy. Her face almost angelic. It was lust eating him up. He schemed, took another shot of whiskey and talked to her. A beautiful young thing is what he needed.

She didn't give it up. A few months down the line, he took his eyes off the goal and got carried away by this being. It was not sexual anymore. He had felt this before. A long time ago. Maybe it's,no,it's different this time. He told her about it. She felt it, he knew she felt it. She freaked. She was afraid. She ran.
She thought about him, probably a lot. She called him. They talked about it, they tried again. They were both cautious, sometimes careless with words, but mostly cautious. A bit too cautious. She liked to bite his lower lip and look into his eyes. He couldn't hide anything from her. She probably knew that. They were now moving in circles. On for a couple of months, then off for a couple of months. They were afraid to invest emotions. She wanted it. He wanted it. They acted like two little kids who didn't know what they wanted. But he wanted it more than she did. He worked harder than she did on it. Until eventually he couldn't no more.
She told him she wanted out. He was too drained to fight anymore. He reluctantly said yes. He said he understood and it was okay. But it was not okay and he didn't understand. He could feel his heart crashing but he put on a brave face. She kissed him goodbye. He walked away.

He told his friends about it. They didn't understand what he was going through. Disappointments in his past had taught him to take a blow with a smile. He hurt alone. He drunk his beer. He might sleep alright tonight and hurt tomorrow. His liqour does that for him.

He's met a few nice girls since then. He likes them a lot sometimes. He can't give his heart to them though. He doesn't have the key. He thinks about her when he's with them. He compares her with them. Some almost do compare but always fall short. Others just, well, they just don't.

They talk sometimes. Sometimes for long on the phone. She seems happy. She met someone else. He's happy for her. He just wants her to be happy. It's being a while now, pretty long while and he knows she couldn't wait. As long as she's happy, he's happy.

He never got over her. He however learn't to live without her. She taught her a lot of things, but living without her,he had to learn the hard way.
They were different when they were;
He writes, she reads
He likes the outdoors, she's into indoors
He likes his liqour, she's not much of a fan
He likes all music, she's a rock lover
He spends, she saves
He's a wild one, she's a nice girl
They were a little different but they did okay. They differed in opinion sometimes but didn't really fight. They should have fought at least a few times, but that's not important now.

He might be seeing her soon. She says she wants them to be friends. He's got to be cautious with his words when he sees her. She's going to too. Choose words carefully. Probably talk about everything except what they feel. He knows and she knows. It's time to start choosing words.