Maybe we are wrong about God.

''You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, he never wanted you, in all probability he hates you. It's not the worst that could happen to you'' ~ Tyler Durden.

I was born in a Christian family, which technically makes me a Christian. Technically because except for my Christian name nothing else makes me feel like a Christian, and my hair makes people think I subscribe to Islam, not that I get it, the hair and religion stereotype but there are a lot of things in this world that I don't understand.


The name:

My Christian name is Peter.
According to the dictionery, the meaning copied from the online dictionery is as below.

pe·ter
Verb: Decrease or fade gradually before
coming to an end: "the storm had petered
out".

Noun: A man's penis.

However, that is not the Peter my mum had in mind. She was thinking more on the lines of Jesus' apostle, his right hand man who walked on water, argued with Jesus, betrayed Jesus, and most importantly became the leader of the Apostles after Jesus' ascession to the right hand side of his father in heaven. This is a name that should make me feel important especially because of how deep in religion all the women around me have been.

I don't feel it. I don't feel like Jesus' right hand man.

When growing up, I didn't question much or rather didn't think much about God, the Bible wasn't bookmarked on my phone as it didn't form much of literal material I felt like I needed to read. I rarely went to Church, which to an extent is advantageous since I wasn't really indoctrinated into anything fully. I can think outside the confines of religious dogma because I don't view God as a religious man would, am more on the side of God at the end of our imagination.

Reading the Holy Books can be confusing. The proverbial thin line between love and hate is extremely thin. Okay, not hate per se, but some of the extremes the religious God went to make his people toe the line, the punishments prescribed for those who put their hand on the cookie jar scaringly border on hate. Sigh.

Sexual activities (not mine).

Some of the sexual perversions the Men of God are straight up immoral. Lot and his daughters, David and a soldiers wife, Mohammed and a 12 year old wife.

The laws, the discrimination against others in his creation, favorism of certain people, et al.

You got to understand that, me and God aren't the best of friends. Am not sure how to relate to the guy.

Free will is apparently not free, it causes us to sin, and that happens to be a direct ticket to hell. Maybe this is a truth that we are running away from. I don't know if am the only one who wonders the role of God in the evils that plague the world. Free will and animal instinct will most definately corrupt a soul, how can he blame us for a fault of his doing? You can't throw animals in a cage with limited resources without expecting that they'll most probably eat each other. Sigh.

Or maybe we got it all wrong. Either religion totally got it wrong or God is unfair. Let's talk religion for a minute. Let's talk about it from a broader perspective outside of it's confines for a minute. Religions borrow heavily from each other. Regardless of the physical appearances, their attributes of God tend to be human, temperence, tolerance, generousity, love, every human attribute to its utmost extreme. This does not make him feel extra ordinary to me. His power is limited to our imaginations and his laws are based on our view of morality stretched with consequence equal to the limit our imagination feels the body cannot handle.

Maybe God doesn't have human attributes and whoever we pray to is our own creation. Maybe he is not the God who is morally right, an abundant provider, an extreme punisher, an all loving kind albeit with no sense of humor.
Maybe he is not that white guy with a long beard somewhere in the sky.

Maybe he created and left and we are struggling in explaining his existence the way we deem fit.

Maybe we are wrong about God.