Lovers Anonymous

“You wake up in the morning, walk to the bathroom, check the size of your dick in the mirror, and then take a look of yourself. Girls don’t love your face, or the fact that you’re good in bed, but money is really sexy. Nothing makes her wetter than the S500 you bought her for her birthday, or that beach house you take her for the holidays and most definitely, the no limit credit card in her purse. I do believe there is a possibility that she loves you too among others and other things but it’s not in my place to judge considering the situation is little sticky right now. I guess I shouldn’t have being carried away as I did, but you gotta admit, it’s pretty hard (hehehe……hard) not to.

“Let’s back up a little bit, where do I fit in this picture? Am an average guy, who really appreciates a nice frothy warm Tusker, and every once in a while (once a day or two I mean) the vodka, preferably in shots does me a great deal of good. I happen to love places where such delicacies are served, and so do sexually starved women. Am not saying yours is one of them, she did, and it’s my fault that I tend to take words at face value. I guess that’s probably why I suck at relationships, with the whole read between the lines thing not working great for me, although I do try. 

“Anyway, she’s hot, extremely hot, she burns holes through souls of men, mine included. There is a sensation that you experience if you take a straight double in what some people call “kwa gengor” or in layman’s terms, bottoms up. You feel your whole body tingle, down to your toes. If you take a few more in succession, well, those who’ve being there understand that it won’t kill you, but it just might hurt something, or not. But her, she’s specific. If you could concentrate all that sensation and aim it at a particular part of the body, the brain could literally trip, especially if that specific place is a soft spot, with no bone to soak in the pressure or pleasure, and the blood vessels just love the rush. She has a way of doing that, and she made prey out of me and when she asked me to honestly tell her what I thought of her, as she stood naked in front of me, I just couldn’t lie to her. She was, is a piece of work, and even if I was pretty stoned, I was right coz she was still super hot when she was riding in the morning.  

“Problem is, she has become an addiction and I haven’t heard of a rehab that I could go to. I have being trying to cut on my addictions which hasn’t being working the way I expected. Am not sure if it’s a good or a great thing but I think I might drop all of my other addictions and just stick with this one.”

“Thanks for sharing Jack. Anyone else would like to share.”

“Hello, my name is Mary, and am a lover.”

Yes I do

It’s like jetting on a stolen car and my main concern is not the police, but how long it will take to get to her. So what if she don’t feel the same, this emptiness at this particular moment, it is of least importance since those words are not from her mouth. Self doubt has always hung around me even when my mind is aflame, not exactly sure how it fits in this equation but somehow it does. All I know is when the moon is round and full am going to teach her tricks that'll blow her mind. 

I am running towards something, someone, anything. A reason to believe that I might since I know the one thing that I want the most is the one I can’t; or rather don’t want to have. It might not be common but an illness of the heart could be terminal if not caught on early. I heard initial symptoms may include the smiles, the flowers, chocolates and wines. It’s the latter symptoms that I am afraid of but since they invented a cure in the form of vodka, am not too afraid to run and collide.

The sad part is all this could have being avoided if I could have garnered the courage to say those three words when she asked if I needed another drink, “yes I do” isn’t that hard. It would have given us another half hour, and what we would have done would probably have being better than what she or I did on our own. Maybe we would have gone home, or partied all night and in the winding down of the night and a few therapy sessions later learnt how to deal with her episodes. Maybe she’d have driven me away with her bitching, tantrums, self absorption, or the makeup sex would be so great I never wanna leave, and I just love to piss her off coz when she’s mad, she’s out of control and there is no stopping with the scratching, the biting………., the violence is the foreplay we love and how peaceful she is thereafter is angelic.

I haven’t heard her side of the story. That’s probably because I let her leave before I could catch her name and number. If only I could take my eyes off of her for a little while and think, rather than just turn the lights around her down low, change the music to something slower, smoother, and make everything around us just disappear, then maybe she would tell me her story. Now I just look for her face in crowds wherever I go and hope that one day she’ll get to ask me if I need another drink, “Yes I do” won’t be too hard then.