Upgrading needed

I’ve being studying myself for a while now. Am a pretty interesting fellow, regardless of the fact that almost everything I do is routine. All I do is eat, drink, work and sleep (and a few other things that would give you a reason to judge me). The study shows I need a tad bit of upgrading. This was not necessary of my own making but getting into the details of how this crossed my mind won’t exactly make me less of a man, but neither will it improve my image in the social scene. I need some upgrading but my upgrading should however not affect my awesomeness, which means no one, and I mean no one should touch my after 1800 hrs schedule.

I was looking at my bed this morning, same as I do every morning and the art looks a little different. It had additional features. There was a sock, another sock, an extra t-shirt and where did that other sock come from?  The reason I study my bed every morning is to try and understand why anyone would like to destroy the masterpiece you’ve being making all night by making it. The beauty is legendary. I know this would be affected if I ever decide to leave my manhood to the mercies of a woman. Am not sure if it is a bad or a good thing, but the raging debate in my head isn’t leaning on the feminine side. My sister always tells me that I need a woman in my life and as much as I love her with all my heart, the fact that she suggests it makes me a little more wary of the species from Venus.

When I say upgrading, from my point of view, it’s more of home cooked meals and curtains. For the curtains, there is no sense of urgency since the kikoi has being working out alright so far. A home cooked meal is a problem not because I can’t cook (am a terrific cook, so I’ve being told), it’s cooking for one that doesn’t work for me. It makes me feel a tad bit lonely, it’s sad actually. I do cook if I have a friend over but with my hours, there is really no point of inviting people over at that time unless you’re getting some. Now here comes the big question, between the cooking and the “business”, which is of importance? If she’s visiting for the night, cooking doesn’t make a lot of sense, unless it’s a quick mix of vodka and coffee. Maybe it’s just me but hey……… I’ve never tried to win the battle of the sexes, too much fraternizing with the enemy has happened.

At this precise moment, I just realized how much of a feminist I sound. It is not my fault exactly since in the world we are brought up in, the emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." With the women having accepted the position right below, it’s a little difficult to wake up today and just change the way men think. Personally, I am all for compelling her strength, not doubting her courage or her toughness, not believing her to be naïve or innocent, and gathering the courage to treat her like a woman. That may make me a lesser of a man in front of other men, but what does a man gain from treating a woman as a lesser being.

Getting to yes, that’s the yes on that soft bargaining, negotiation of positions rather than interests, offering concessions easily in the interests of preserving (or creating) a good relationship with the other side she also has to learn a few things too.

1. A drink with the boys is not cheating on her. If am out with the boys, I would appreciate if my phone does not ring after every five minutes. I am probably in the middle of a story of how am cheating on you with my imaginary girlfriend (just to prove to the boys am not whooped)
2. You have your book clubs, swimming thingies, South American soap operas and church stuff with the girls, I have sports. If I can’t watch them in the house, you are kindly asked to refrain from getting mad, and if you must get mad at me, at least act like you’re not. I do understand that all the nice games fall in the weekend and you would love us to go out too, but if only you would give me a little space, i.e. 1500 hrs to 2200hrs I will dedicate the rest of the night to you.
3.   I do understand that all your life, circumstances beyond your control (being born a woman) have forced you to imply rather than express how you feel. I would also want you to understand that the opposite applies to me, and a breakdown in communication will be a constant feature in this arrangement.

I know am not supposed to be thinking about these things right now, but since I did, a few things came to me. After all this thinking, I do believe am going through a period of nostalgia, and I seem to think yesterday was better than today.  I don't know if it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great.  If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. Am going to join those who can laugh without cause, for they have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

How about that upgrading ladies. I just realized I don’t know what I want.