Long call

‘‘Hallo ma'am''

‘‘Serge''

''I was going to call earlier.......'' I was a little frantic at this particular point. Scared maybe.

‘‘No need to explain yourself. You seem to forget a lot of things son, including, am always watching''


I am not really sure why I hadn't received any of the bosses’ calls. Firstly, she wasn't making those quick consecutive ones which keep you tied up in one place for ours, nor was she having a bad day where she makes one of those extremely long conversations that you wish she would shut up. I know she can be a pain in the arse sometimes, and we all know hanging up on the boss or not picking up the call isn't the best of ideas.

On a regular day, she calls at least once a day and as a good little soldier I always pick up the phone if am in a position to. If I find that the booth is not secure, I always try to find a clear line I can use unless in an emergency. Normally, the home phone is the most preferred but sometimes we are forced to.....mmhhm.....improvise, especially because most people, let me rephrase that, the productive populace is rarely home. Since no one knows the time that the call will come in we sometimes make do with our office phones, public payphones, and due to the innovations made in the recent past mobile phones.

I was having a lazy day, the kind of day calls bother you a lot. It was about 12 hours since the last call. I didn't want any distractions, in bed a couple of movies and bam, lazy Tuesday it is. The first call came in around 8.00 in the morning, I wasn't even up yet, I hung up. I guess she understood a little, a very understanding woman I must say.

It's cold outside, very cold indeed and getting out of bed has been a problem lately. The boss needed to talk about domestic protection, which wasn't a surprise because that's all she talked about day in day out. She wasn't as insistent as she normally is, well, she can sometimes make movements very difficult for someone if she doesn't get updates on what's happening in her house. If she doesn't call in a couple of days, something is wrong, terribly wrong and for the sake of your job, it's important that you look for an expert to patch you through.

Anyway, it was heading towards noon and I was still hanging up on my boss. She can be very annoying sometimes, especially in days like today when you just want to just pull the blankets and up the volume. I on the other hand can be stubborn when I think someone is being unreasonable. I honestly don’t understand why she has to be the one who always makes the call. I could call her whenever it suits me, but no, she won't even let me have her number. The worst part is when am travelling. I have to sit pretty and wait for her to call, and no offense to women, she doesn't understand the concept of keeping time. Let's just say there have been times when her timing has been terrible and I have seen people literally build booths from nothing, navigating for a little privacy.

Afternoon, and the frequency was a little on the increase. A few voicemails too, about protocols, the need for full disclosure, bitching about this and that but I kept my stance. I guess I wanted to know her limits, how far she would go to get her reports.

She kept pushing, I pushed back. The voicemails were moving from a nuisance to scary, almost threatening. She threatened to swing by the house. After the stories I've heard, and the destruction she has caused in the few places she has visited, this message was now causing discomfiture of spirits. Mother Nature is not the kind of visitor one welcomes with open hands. Not after Katrina, Japan, Haiti, Australia and those not on the list. I don't want to be the reason why she swung by, as we all know what happened when my Japanese friend Kasumi Fujimoto didn't heed her call.



And then, around 0121 hours, she left the strongest message yet leaving me clutching my tummy, with both pain and fear. I had to talk to her now, or right now.

‘‘Hallo ma'am''

‘‘Serge''

''I was going to call you earlier.....''

‘‘No need to explain yourself. You seem to forget a lot of things son, including, am always watching''

Awkward silence

''I had some githeri for lunch''

''I know''

''Rice last night''

''I know''

''Some nyam chom and......''

''I know, now will you shut up and let the fax print?''

''Okay ma'am''

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